What can you do when you've waited so long for someone who doesn't realize what they have? You try to leave and stop thinking about them, but nothing will change. your first instinct would be to leave. But what if you cant? well that's how i felt. That feeling was stuck to me for months. You get sick and tired of waiting around for someone who doesn't care about you 1/4 of how much you care about them. It hurts, you feel like your not existent in their life when they mean so much to yours.
Sitting around thinking about when they will realize that you're there, that there going to take the initiative to talk to you and just realizing that they simply don't give a shit hurts. But hey its the truth!i have to learn how to take it and roll with it. Do i deserve it? No of course not.
If you didn't hit them up, you guys would not speak, well that's how it was with me
I had waited, waited, waited, and i never got the same respect back.
It was the first for me, for a girl to fully grab my feelings with her personality and beauty. Does she know shes beautiful?
I wish she realized what she had, things no other girls have. But this girl was different, her looks didn't initially attract me, it was what was on the inside. Who she really was, got me attached and never let me go of that great feeling by being around that person. i don't know if anyone has ever had a great feeling just by being around some one, but i did, and it hit me hard. Hard to the point where i couldn't let go that moment, no need for me to act super confident/tough guy, to not show my true feelings.
I'm a confident dude and everyone knows that. I have swag and i know it, but people forget that I'm also a loving and caring person. With that i have an emotional side of me which comes out. I'm not afraid to express my feelings because its who i am, whether you like it or not, its who i am.
Depending on a girl who didn't care about me, just hurts! like did she feel the same way i did? does she think about me? ever? i will never know, but I'm done waiting around for her to come to me and tell me whats good! I'm done leading myself on and thinking about her. I don't deserve this kind of pain. I treated her as if she was with me, is that a bad thing though? I'm a nice guy and that's who i am, and i don't give a fuck what people say, i don't care if people say I'm too nice, because that's just who Farzan Johnathan Azinkhan is!
When i looked at this girl, i felt like she was one in a million. Everything from top to bottom was beautiful! My favorite thing about her was her smile, but i never told her cuz i thought she wouldnt believe me. looking at her smile made me smile! My mom always taught me to respect every women. But why? when they don't respect you, its not right at all.
The things I Woud've done for this girl, i Woud've shown her things no other man is capable of, i know no other guy would've took car of her better then i have, That's why i am manning up, and moving on to someone who will appreciate me.
After sitting down for days,weeks,months, & even on my birthday, i tried figuring out whats right for me. whats right for me, is someone who treats me with the same respect & love i treat them with. realizing that this girl isn't giving me any of that hurt. so I'm done waiting on something that's going no where, as much as i think positive day in and day out! its not fair to me to be feeling like this, so the best thing for me is to move on for the better!
I made this blog because i want everyone to sit down and think about the person they like/date/bf or gf, and think about if they treat you with the same affection your treating them, because if there not don't wait around and hurt yourself waiting around for no reason, because there's people out there who will cherish you for who you really are and love you unconditionally.
-Farzan Johnathan Azinkhan
"Live your life always doing you, and the people who aren't down with you/hate on you, don't kill them with actions/words, kill them with success!" Farzan Azinkhan
Songs Of the Day:
Chris Brown-Ain't Thinking About You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSbHOUYK9Dw
Diddy Dirty Money-Lovin You No More
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIQP5JlqtX0
Shout Outs: Neda Malki, Steven Parkens, Allen Khakshooy, & Chantalle Noormand
